Hey all!
So it has been over a month since my last post came bearing the terrible news. You may be wondering what's going on with us as of lately.
Well, I said we weren't going to give up...and I meant it!!!
After our unfortunate news Dr. Hudson recommended taking at least a month off to let my body recover. He also recommended I have what is known as a D & C performed. That stands for Dilation and Curettage. For those of you who do not know what a D & C is, it is a surgical procedure in which the doctor dilates the cervix and, using an instrument known as a curette, scrapes the lining of the uterus and removes tissue. It is a procedure that is usually done after miscarriages, but the real reason I had to have this done is because of my PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome). You see because of my PCOS I do not get periods. With no period comes a build up of the uterine lining. If you don't have a period to remove that lining it literally just stays there, building up (for years!!!) It is really isn't healthy at all. In fact, amenhorrea (absence of periods) that goes untreated can lead to cancer and osteoporosis. Now, mine had been treated (a period had been induced by the birth control pill, monthly, from a young age) however, there are years and months where there was no period..and having one induced every so often only clears that months lining..not the build up! Now, I had never really thought of that before. A key ingredient to pregnancy is having a healthy uterus where an embryo will implant. I was missing that key ingredient this whole time. (Sorry for all this intense information...it's all part of the journey though...not trying to 'over-share'). Anyways...after finding out I needed this surgery and talking to ladies I know who have PCOS..it turns out that a lot of ladies with PCOS have a D&C as one of the first steps to improving their fertility....and here I am...doing IVF..what was described as a last ditch attempt to get pregnant....pretty much a final step...and I had never even heard of a D&C. Why did I not have this sooner?? Well, who knows?! I didn't..and here we are. So knowing I needed this surgery was one thing...having it done was another. You think it'd be easy. It's a 5-10 minute procedure..should be easy enough to have it done in Grande Prairie, right? WRONG! Apparently it is not that easy. So, off to Victoria we went to have this D&C performed. It went well and now all looks good. It also feels good knowing that several people I'm close with have become pregnant after their own D&C's. So with that out of the way, we will be going back to Victoria July 19 (god willing of course) and that will hopefully be the last time we have to go back. I still have to have an ultrasound and blood work done to make sure everything is on track. Of course, I was determined this time to not force anything into my own timeline or rush anything. I just wanted to let it happen. God can organize it. The doctor asked me when I wanted to try again and my response was "you let me know when you think is a good time". He chose July 19. He said I needed a D&C (which I was terrified wasn't going to happen because we had to find a way to get to Victoria...all these trips are expensive!)..but that happened and it went well. Once again, the Lord is leading the way..and I am relinquishing all control to him. I want to know that I am doing it on HIS terms..not my own. Last time I decided it had to be on a certain day and I knew I was pushing my luck (doctor hudson even said that it would be cutting it close :S )...and that is not letting go and letting God take over. I'm not blaming myself. I know if it was meant to be I'd be pregnant right now. But...I also know that I have taken every step I could possibly take...each one directed by God...and it has brought me to this point. If July 19 is the day...then July 19th is the day. Was it the day I had in mind..no...does that matter...no. My plans never seem to be the best plans...but the Lord...well His definitely are.
Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Those words give me so much hope. I know the Lord has a plan. If I can just get out of his way and let the plan unfold things would be a lot better..of that I am sure. Now maybe this sounds ridiculous to some of you, and that's fine..you are entitled to that opinion...but I truly believe Gods plans for us are good plans and that we will begin to see them unfold as soon as we put aside our own agendas, and submit to His because they are so much greater, so much more perfect than anything we could conceive in our own mind. So many of us are guilty of believing in Lord and his plans...but then butting in with our own agendas! We need to forget our agenda and just sit back and enjoy the ride. Everything will work out as it is intended to if we trust in the Lord and His plans and timing.
So I guess the lesson I have learned through all of this is to truly give it all to the Lord. He is greater than anyone or anything we can imagine.
1 Corinthians 2:9
"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him"!
If we can just...as the old saying goes...."let go and let god"...I am 100% convinced that our lives would be 100% better than we could ever imagine. So the lessons have been to not give up, stay true to yourself and keep your faith strong, believe in the word of the Lord and know that He should ALWAYS be in control! Trust in Him always and in all ways trust Him!
Again...here I go rambling on and on. Hopefully that made at least some sense.
Continue to keep us in your prayers! We are staying positive and trusting the Lord through this whole process!
Love you all and God Bless,
Jen
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