Negative again. Utterly devastating heartbreak hardly comes close to describing how I feel. I feel like a completely defective human being. I feel shattered. I don't know how much more broken my heart can get. The hardest part is knowing there is no explanation of why and that we won't have the ability to try again for a very long time. I don't know why we have to endure this, but I know there must be some reason bigger than I know...some grand plan. God is in control. I don't know what to do or say. It's hard enough to breathe at this moment, let alone anything else. I knew today would either be the best day or worst day of my life. It is definitely the worst. God give me strength to overcome this and move forward. Keep us in your prayers.
Jen
Tuesday, 28 August 2012
Monday, 27 August 2012
Sitting, waiting, wishing...
So, transfer was done almost 2 weeks ago and the pregnancy test is tomorrow. Dr. Hudson said everything went as good as it possibly could....nothing could've been better. I have a lot of confidence that things are going to work out this time, but with my pregnancy test tomorrow, I can't help but feel a bit of fear..because of the disappointment and heartache I went through last time. It does feel different this time, but I am guarding my heart out of fear. Please pray for me now, and throughout the day tomorrow. It is going to be a long and agonizing wait for the results. I am trusting in the lord and the answered prayers so far (lining, progesterone, estrogen..etc). I want these babies so bad and love them so much already. My hope is in you Lord, all the day long. Thanks for your prayers, love and support. I cherish them with all my heart. Here's hoping and believing I'll have good news to share soon
Love you all,
Jen
Friday, 10 August 2012
YAY!
Ok, so I'm pretty much ecstatic to say that we're finally going back to VICTORIA!!!!!! Ultrasound looks good, progesterone looks good...just waiting on the Estradiol results..but Dr. Hudson feels comfortable moving ahead knowing what he knows thus far =)
PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so happy. I was so worried that things might not work out, but, I have been praying and faithfully believing that if it was God's will, things would work out this time!
So, Wednesday we will leave for Victoria, embryo transfer Thursday, rest on Friday and home on Saturday.
Hallelujah! Thank you for your prayers!!
Praying for success this time <3
Continue to remember us as you feel lead!!
Love you all,
Jen
PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so happy. I was so worried that things might not work out, but, I have been praying and faithfully believing that if it was God's will, things would work out this time!
So, Wednesday we will leave for Victoria, embryo transfer Thursday, rest on Friday and home on Saturday.
Hallelujah! Thank you for your prayers!!
Praying for success this time <3
Continue to remember us as you feel lead!!
Love you all,
Jen
Thursday, 19 July 2012
An update on the update....lol
Well it wasn't the best news...but it wasn't the worst either. I'm thankful for a clinic that is straight up with me and says "we don't want you to come back until things are just right!" Thank goodness! I know Rome wasn't built in a day so I don't expect the perfect conditions for baby growing to just develop in a jiffy either. I did just have a D&C less than a month ago!! So..here we go again...another period to induce and then another try to get just the right conditions. Doctor H will be taking a slightly different approach this time..as I had to take an injectable called Suprefact that last couple of times..and this time I'm just going to be taking the Estrace, which is an estrogen pill. Sounds like they are taking a "slow and steady/gentler" approach. I'm totally fine with all of this too. I just want the perfect conditions so I can go back and know in my heart of hearts that everything possible has been done to insure that I get pregnant and stay pregnant this time. Also, I'm pretty thankful I didn't have to leave to Victoria right this very second because my very best friend in the whole world is having a baby and I would definitely not want to miss that! Not to mention some very close friends who just had a baby earlier this week and I'm dying to meet that little one as well. Seems it's just not exactly the right moment right now, and that's ok. God is guiding the way and He will insure that everything works out as it should according to His plan.
Thanks again for all your love and support and prayers. I will keep you posted as I know more. Right now we just wait for the next cycle to start!
Love you all,
Jen
Thanks again for all your love and support and prayers. I will keep you posted as I know more. Right now we just wait for the next cycle to start!
Love you all,
Jen
Update...
Hey all! This is just a quick little post. Most of you think I'm in Victoria...since it's the 19th. Actually I'm not. I'm still in G.P. At my ultrasound on July 12th my uterine lining was measuring at 6-7mm which was too thin, as it needs to be over 8mm before I can start my progesterone to get me ready to go back. Also (ironically enough) my progesterone levels were elevated, and that can (in exact words) "advance the endometrium and decrease the chances of a successful implantation." So...waiting on just the right conditions, and you know what...that's ok!! I don't want to rush anything. I'm thankful for time off that allows me to be flexible and wait for the perfect conditions. So, today I have more bloodwork and another ultrasound and I am hoping for good news, but, even if it's not time right now...it will be eventually! So thanks for all your heartfelt prayers and well wishes! I cherish them...just thought I'd let you all know that I'm sort of in "waiting" at the moment...but will update again when we find out more!
Thanks again for your prayers!
Love you all and God Bless!
Jen
Thanks again for your prayers!
Love you all and God Bless!
Jen
Tuesday, 3 July 2012
In case you were wondering...
Hey all!
So it has been over a month since my last post came bearing the terrible news. You may be wondering what's going on with us as of lately.
Well, I said we weren't going to give up...and I meant it!!!
After our unfortunate news Dr. Hudson recommended taking at least a month off to let my body recover. He also recommended I have what is known as a D & C performed. That stands for Dilation and Curettage. For those of you who do not know what a D & C is, it is a surgical procedure in which the doctor dilates the cervix and, using an instrument known as a curette, scrapes the lining of the uterus and removes tissue. It is a procedure that is usually done after miscarriages, but the real reason I had to have this done is because of my PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome). You see because of my PCOS I do not get periods. With no period comes a build up of the uterine lining. If you don't have a period to remove that lining it literally just stays there, building up (for years!!!) It is really isn't healthy at all. In fact, amenhorrea (absence of periods) that goes untreated can lead to cancer and osteoporosis. Now, mine had been treated (a period had been induced by the birth control pill, monthly, from a young age) however, there are years and months where there was no period..and having one induced every so often only clears that months lining..not the build up! Now, I had never really thought of that before. A key ingredient to pregnancy is having a healthy uterus where an embryo will implant. I was missing that key ingredient this whole time. (Sorry for all this intense information...it's all part of the journey though...not trying to 'over-share'). Anyways...after finding out I needed this surgery and talking to ladies I know who have PCOS..it turns out that a lot of ladies with PCOS have a D&C as one of the first steps to improving their fertility....and here I am...doing IVF..what was described as a last ditch attempt to get pregnant....pretty much a final step...and I had never even heard of a D&C. Why did I not have this sooner?? Well, who knows?! I didn't..and here we are. So knowing I needed this surgery was one thing...having it done was another. You think it'd be easy. It's a 5-10 minute procedure..should be easy enough to have it done in Grande Prairie, right? WRONG! Apparently it is not that easy. So, off to Victoria we went to have this D&C performed. It went well and now all looks good. It also feels good knowing that several people I'm close with have become pregnant after their own D&C's. So with that out of the way, we will be going back to Victoria July 19 (god willing of course) and that will hopefully be the last time we have to go back. I still have to have an ultrasound and blood work done to make sure everything is on track. Of course, I was determined this time to not force anything into my own timeline or rush anything. I just wanted to let it happen. God can organize it. The doctor asked me when I wanted to try again and my response was "you let me know when you think is a good time". He chose July 19. He said I needed a D&C (which I was terrified wasn't going to happen because we had to find a way to get to Victoria...all these trips are expensive!)..but that happened and it went well. Once again, the Lord is leading the way..and I am relinquishing all control to him. I want to know that I am doing it on HIS terms..not my own. Last time I decided it had to be on a certain day and I knew I was pushing my luck (doctor hudson even said that it would be cutting it close :S )...and that is not letting go and letting God take over. I'm not blaming myself. I know if it was meant to be I'd be pregnant right now. But...I also know that I have taken every step I could possibly take...each one directed by God...and it has brought me to this point. If July 19 is the day...then July 19th is the day. Was it the day I had in mind..no...does that matter...no. My plans never seem to be the best plans...but the Lord...well His definitely are.
Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Those words give me so much hope. I know the Lord has a plan. If I can just get out of his way and let the plan unfold things would be a lot better..of that I am sure. Now maybe this sounds ridiculous to some of you, and that's fine..you are entitled to that opinion...but I truly believe Gods plans for us are good plans and that we will begin to see them unfold as soon as we put aside our own agendas, and submit to His because they are so much greater, so much more perfect than anything we could conceive in our own mind. So many of us are guilty of believing in Lord and his plans...but then butting in with our own agendas! We need to forget our agenda and just sit back and enjoy the ride. Everything will work out as it is intended to if we trust in the Lord and His plans and timing.
So I guess the lesson I have learned through all of this is to truly give it all to the Lord. He is greater than anyone or anything we can imagine.
1 Corinthians 2:9
"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him"!
If we can just...as the old saying goes...."let go and let god"...I am 100% convinced that our lives would be 100% better than we could ever imagine. So the lessons have been to not give up, stay true to yourself and keep your faith strong, believe in the word of the Lord and know that He should ALWAYS be in control! Trust in Him always and in all ways trust Him!
Again...here I go rambling on and on. Hopefully that made at least some sense.
Continue to keep us in your prayers! We are staying positive and trusting the Lord through this whole process!
Love you all and God Bless,
Jen
So it has been over a month since my last post came bearing the terrible news. You may be wondering what's going on with us as of lately.
Well, I said we weren't going to give up...and I meant it!!!
After our unfortunate news Dr. Hudson recommended taking at least a month off to let my body recover. He also recommended I have what is known as a D & C performed. That stands for Dilation and Curettage. For those of you who do not know what a D & C is, it is a surgical procedure in which the doctor dilates the cervix and, using an instrument known as a curette, scrapes the lining of the uterus and removes tissue. It is a procedure that is usually done after miscarriages, but the real reason I had to have this done is because of my PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome). You see because of my PCOS I do not get periods. With no period comes a build up of the uterine lining. If you don't have a period to remove that lining it literally just stays there, building up (for years!!!) It is really isn't healthy at all. In fact, amenhorrea (absence of periods) that goes untreated can lead to cancer and osteoporosis. Now, mine had been treated (a period had been induced by the birth control pill, monthly, from a young age) however, there are years and months where there was no period..and having one induced every so often only clears that months lining..not the build up! Now, I had never really thought of that before. A key ingredient to pregnancy is having a healthy uterus where an embryo will implant. I was missing that key ingredient this whole time. (Sorry for all this intense information...it's all part of the journey though...not trying to 'over-share'). Anyways...after finding out I needed this surgery and talking to ladies I know who have PCOS..it turns out that a lot of ladies with PCOS have a D&C as one of the first steps to improving their fertility....and here I am...doing IVF..what was described as a last ditch attempt to get pregnant....pretty much a final step...and I had never even heard of a D&C. Why did I not have this sooner?? Well, who knows?! I didn't..and here we are. So knowing I needed this surgery was one thing...having it done was another. You think it'd be easy. It's a 5-10 minute procedure..should be easy enough to have it done in Grande Prairie, right? WRONG! Apparently it is not that easy. So, off to Victoria we went to have this D&C performed. It went well and now all looks good. It also feels good knowing that several people I'm close with have become pregnant after their own D&C's. So with that out of the way, we will be going back to Victoria July 19 (god willing of course) and that will hopefully be the last time we have to go back. I still have to have an ultrasound and blood work done to make sure everything is on track. Of course, I was determined this time to not force anything into my own timeline or rush anything. I just wanted to let it happen. God can organize it. The doctor asked me when I wanted to try again and my response was "you let me know when you think is a good time". He chose July 19. He said I needed a D&C (which I was terrified wasn't going to happen because we had to find a way to get to Victoria...all these trips are expensive!)..but that happened and it went well. Once again, the Lord is leading the way..and I am relinquishing all control to him. I want to know that I am doing it on HIS terms..not my own. Last time I decided it had to be on a certain day and I knew I was pushing my luck (doctor hudson even said that it would be cutting it close :S )...and that is not letting go and letting God take over. I'm not blaming myself. I know if it was meant to be I'd be pregnant right now. But...I also know that I have taken every step I could possibly take...each one directed by God...and it has brought me to this point. If July 19 is the day...then July 19th is the day. Was it the day I had in mind..no...does that matter...no. My plans never seem to be the best plans...but the Lord...well His definitely are.
Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Those words give me so much hope. I know the Lord has a plan. If I can just get out of his way and let the plan unfold things would be a lot better..of that I am sure. Now maybe this sounds ridiculous to some of you, and that's fine..you are entitled to that opinion...but I truly believe Gods plans for us are good plans and that we will begin to see them unfold as soon as we put aside our own agendas, and submit to His because they are so much greater, so much more perfect than anything we could conceive in our own mind. So many of us are guilty of believing in Lord and his plans...but then butting in with our own agendas! We need to forget our agenda and just sit back and enjoy the ride. Everything will work out as it is intended to if we trust in the Lord and His plans and timing.
So I guess the lesson I have learned through all of this is to truly give it all to the Lord. He is greater than anyone or anything we can imagine.
1 Corinthians 2:9
"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him"!
If we can just...as the old saying goes...."let go and let god"...I am 100% convinced that our lives would be 100% better than we could ever imagine. So the lessons have been to not give up, stay true to yourself and keep your faith strong, believe in the word of the Lord and know that He should ALWAYS be in control! Trust in Him always and in all ways trust Him!
Again...here I go rambling on and on. Hopefully that made at least some sense.
Continue to keep us in your prayers! We are staying positive and trusting the Lord through this whole process!
Love you all and God Bless,
Jen
Thursday, 31 May 2012
I will not be shaken...
Well, I wish I had better news..but unfortunately I don't. My blood pregnancy test was negative...meaning I am no longer pregnant. It turns out you can feel pregnant and have every sign and symptom of pregnancy and not bleed or experience any sort of cause for concern and the reason is that the progesterone you have to take when you're an IVF patient, tricks your body (and thus, your mind) into thinking you're pregnant...because it literally makes you feel pregnant..and it stops (some people..me being one) from bleeding. So...here I thought for sure I was pregnant...and I was for a time (I'll never know for sure how long it lasted) but unfortunately this is what you'd call a miscarriage..and once I go off my progesterone I suppose I will get to feel the full effects of that. It's true that most people are unsuccessful on their first round of IVF...but I kind of thought we'd be the exception (because who doesn't hope for that)...but unfortunately we are not the exception..we're part of that majority of unsuccessful first timers. Obviously this is devastating..but we are doing ok. I have realized just how much I have to be thankful for. I have 25 embryos that I can try again with which is not the case for many people in my position. I also have amazing friends and family and students and colleagues and numerous other things that are absolutely awesome....I have an amazing life. God has richly blessed me. I will not be shaken by this! The Lord will uphold me with his righteous right hand! I know I can move forward with this.
I thank you for your prayers and I assure you this is not the end of our journey. IVF can work and I don't give up that easily.
Continue to lift us up in your prayers as you feel lead,
Thanks.
Love and Blessings,
Jen
I thank you for your prayers and I assure you this is not the end of our journey. IVF can work and I don't give up that easily.
Continue to lift us up in your prayers as you feel lead,
Thanks.
Love and Blessings,
Jen
Monday, 21 May 2012
God answers prayers...
Now you're all waiting to hear how excited I am that in less than 2 weeks I'll be heading to Victoria to complete the final step in my IVF journey. Well....we're not going back in 2 weeks. Fact is...we told everyone we were going back in June when in reality we had it booked for May long weekend this whole time. (Sorry for the lie by the way. Father forgive me for that). We just HAD to make sure it was a surprise. So yes...on Thursday, May 17, 2012..Luc and I boarded a plane for Victoria and on Friday, May 18, 2012 our dream of conceiving a child finally came true. We had 2 of our embryos transfered.....which went extremely well, and now with some continued prayer and careful attention I am confident we will be able to say we are parents in only 9 short months! So SURPRISE!! We're pregnant. God truly does answer prayers. I know that it is only early on and it's been only a few short days so far...but so far it is going very well and in just over a week I will be able to say with confidence (after my pregnancy test) that I indeed am still pregnant. I have a faith so strong that I believe this pregnancy is from the hand of God and I do not take it for granted one bit. It is a huge blessing that we have come this far and I am able to sit here in the moment and thank the Lord above for giving me this special gift. I currently have 2 embryos growing inside of me and I feel like that is just so amazing. God is so good. Praise his name.
Thanks for your continued prayers and support. I'll continue to need them throughout the rest of our journey to parenthood and beyond.
Love to you all!!
God Bless,
Jen
Thanks for your continued prayers and support. I'll continue to need them throughout the rest of our journey to parenthood and beyond.
Love to you all!!
God Bless,
Jen
Monday, 23 April 2012
The first week home...
Well, it's been 1 week since we got back to Grande Prairie. In the last post you were informed that 39 of our embryos were fertilizing. Of those 39, the next day there was 34 that were still growing and then our last and final count before they were frozen was 29. We have 29 embryos and they are very high quality. On a scale out of 20 we have mostly 18 and 19's and nothing lower than a 16+ This is rare because usually you get quantity or quality...we were blessed to have both. So that was the greatest news this week that we have what the embryologist called 29 "spectacular" embryos frozen and waiting for the next step. This week was a whirlwind getting back to routine and I may have overdone it since I had swollen ankles and feet (literally had cankles) by midnight on Friday. Doc said it was just a hormonal thing...since I was on all those drugs..but it was freaky. That's never happened to be before. I'm doing great though..no more cankles...lol
Now we just wait until the beginning of June (hoping for our embryo transfer to be June 1st..looks good so far =) )
Then another 9 months and we'll be parents if all goes well! God has provided and made this journey so successful thus far and I just know he will continue to do so.
Thanks for your prayers and support,
Love you all!
God Bless,
Jenn
Now we just wait until the beginning of June (hoping for our embryo transfer to be June 1st..looks good so far =) )
Then another 9 months and we'll be parents if all goes well! God has provided and made this journey so successful thus far and I just know he will continue to do so.
Thanks for your prayers and support,
Love you all!
God Bless,
Jenn
Saturday, 14 April 2012
And the good news keeps coming...
This morning we went for our last appointment with Dr. Hudson before we leave Victoria tomorrow morning. I felt awesome when I woke up this morning, and from my ultrasound things look great. Dr. Hudson said I was a Superstar because he poked me with a needle 50 times yesterday and I still woke up feeling great which he thought was incredible. I told him that yesterday it felt like he poked me 50 times we a needle and I was very uncomfortable and in pain...but after resting all day and a good nights sleep...I feel great! Like I said...I'm a trooper..takes a lot more to set me back than a few needle pokes.
So anyways...I feel good...I'm recovering well. I still have to take it easy (which is easier said then done)..but looks good so far.
On top of that good news we found out more about our eggs/embryos.
Turns out there was actually only 46 eggs retrieved yesterday. The 47th was just a clump of cells that looked like an egg. Still a record of course..lol. 46 is a lot!!
Of those 46 eggs that were retrieved.....44 were mature (meaning able to be fertilized). Of the 44 mature eggs....39 are fertilizing (becoming embryos)!! WOAH! 39 babies in the making??? What?! Now of course after 5 days (when they will be frozen) that number will have gone down (i'll keep you all posted on what it is) but still...it's going to be a lot higher than I ever dreamed possible.
Thank you Lord!
You have a plan and you have made a way and I am so very grateful.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me -Philippians 4:13
Jeremiah 29:11-14For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me. When you seek me with all your heart, I will be found by you, declares the LORD, and I will restore your fortunes..
Thanks for all your prayers and thoughts and support.
I'm still recovering a bit....slightly sore but doing well, so please continue to keep me in your prayers.
Next step is not so far away. Aiming for a June 1st transfer date.
Thanks again for your love and support,
God Bless,
Jen
So anyways...I feel good...I'm recovering well. I still have to take it easy (which is easier said then done)..but looks good so far.
On top of that good news we found out more about our eggs/embryos.
Turns out there was actually only 46 eggs retrieved yesterday. The 47th was just a clump of cells that looked like an egg. Still a record of course..lol. 46 is a lot!!
Of those 46 eggs that were retrieved.....44 were mature (meaning able to be fertilized). Of the 44 mature eggs....39 are fertilizing (becoming embryos)!! WOAH! 39 babies in the making??? What?! Now of course after 5 days (when they will be frozen) that number will have gone down (i'll keep you all posted on what it is) but still...it's going to be a lot higher than I ever dreamed possible.
Thank you Lord!
You have a plan and you have made a way and I am so very grateful.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me -Philippians 4:13
Jeremiah 29:11-14For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me. When you seek me with all your heart, I will be found by you, declares the LORD, and I will restore your fortunes..
Thanks for all your prayers and thoughts and support.
I'm still recovering a bit....slightly sore but doing well, so please continue to keep me in your prayers.
Next step is not so far away. Aiming for a June 1st transfer date.
Thanks again for your love and support,
God Bless,
Jen
Friday, 13 April 2012
Is this for real?
Good day all!
Today was the BIG DAY! The egg retrieval and the beginning of our embryos =)
Let me start by saying this fact that is right from the Regional Fertility Program website (Calgary Clinic)
"The average number of eggs retrieved in a good prognosis patient is 12."
Apparently....I'm not a good prognosis patient. I'm also not a patient of the Calgary Clinic...I'm a patient of the Victoria Fertility Clinic and I'm some sort of anomaly in the IVF world because I had 47eggs retrieved. Dr. Hudsons eyes popped out of his head. They have never seen so many eggs retrieved. According to the Lab lady...she said that she sees a lot of mature, viable eggs. And to think that at my last ultrasound I left a bit defeated because the doctor was dissatisfied with the fact that my follicles just weren't growing and my estrogen level had plateaued. When he said he would have to trigger and get ready for retrieval (almost like it was prematurely) I was a bit deflated. Knowing that it had absolutely zero bearing on how many eggs I got or how many good quality ones were found...tells me God was totally in control. Those eggs didn't grow anymore because they didn't need too and my hormone levels plateaued to say "Ok doc, time to bring in the harvest." So 47 eggs retrieved....and I must say...it's a bit painful. The way they retrieve those eggs is with a needle...they use the needle to pierce each follicle and remove the fluid from them which contains the eggs. I had a lot of follicles and a lot of eggs...and during the procedure..I felt fine. It was afterwards where I felt quite uncomfortable, but I'm a trooper. I came back to the hotel room, went to sleep and though I'm still in some discomfort I am quite happy to be on the road to recovery...and over the moon that my embryos are being created this very minute.Tomorrow I have an appointment to discuss how things are going and have gone....then Sunday morning we fly home.
Miss everyone so much.
Pray the pain subsides, not only for comfortable travel...but so that I can work in comfort as well.
Thanks for your thoughts, prayers and support.
I love you all.
You have made this journey so wonderful. God has blessed me with so many supportive friends and family and he has taken care of us on this difficult journey.
It's not over yet. Still have the embryo transfer in the not so distant future...and of course the pregnancy will hopefully ensue...but I know with your prayers and support and the faith I have in our Lord...things are going to go beautifully.
My fortune cookies at the chinese restaurants we've eaten at have said "a newcomer in your life is becoming more important" and "your secret venture will work out brilliantly"
I don't usually read too much into fortune cookies...but I also don't believe in coincidences. They are signs from God. He's indicating that all will work out for the best. I just need to remember that this is for his glory according to his plan...not according to mine...hence, the bumps in road =) They all serve a purpose.
Again, love you all!
Thanks for your prayers
God Bless!
Jen
Today was the BIG DAY! The egg retrieval and the beginning of our embryos =)
Let me start by saying this fact that is right from the Regional Fertility Program website (Calgary Clinic)
"The average number of eggs retrieved in a good prognosis patient is 12."
Apparently....I'm not a good prognosis patient. I'm also not a patient of the Calgary Clinic...I'm a patient of the Victoria Fertility Clinic and I'm some sort of anomaly in the IVF world because I had 47eggs retrieved. Dr. Hudsons eyes popped out of his head. They have never seen so many eggs retrieved. According to the Lab lady...she said that she sees a lot of mature, viable eggs. And to think that at my last ultrasound I left a bit defeated because the doctor was dissatisfied with the fact that my follicles just weren't growing and my estrogen level had plateaued. When he said he would have to trigger and get ready for retrieval (almost like it was prematurely) I was a bit deflated. Knowing that it had absolutely zero bearing on how many eggs I got or how many good quality ones were found...tells me God was totally in control. Those eggs didn't grow anymore because they didn't need too and my hormone levels plateaued to say "Ok doc, time to bring in the harvest." So 47 eggs retrieved....and I must say...it's a bit painful. The way they retrieve those eggs is with a needle...they use the needle to pierce each follicle and remove the fluid from them which contains the eggs. I had a lot of follicles and a lot of eggs...and during the procedure..I felt fine. It was afterwards where I felt quite uncomfortable, but I'm a trooper. I came back to the hotel room, went to sleep and though I'm still in some discomfort I am quite happy to be on the road to recovery...and over the moon that my embryos are being created this very minute.Tomorrow I have an appointment to discuss how things are going and have gone....then Sunday morning we fly home.
Miss everyone so much.
Pray the pain subsides, not only for comfortable travel...but so that I can work in comfort as well.
Thanks for your thoughts, prayers and support.
I love you all.
You have made this journey so wonderful. God has blessed me with so many supportive friends and family and he has taken care of us on this difficult journey.
It's not over yet. Still have the embryo transfer in the not so distant future...and of course the pregnancy will hopefully ensue...but I know with your prayers and support and the faith I have in our Lord...things are going to go beautifully.
My fortune cookies at the chinese restaurants we've eaten at have said "a newcomer in your life is becoming more important" and "your secret venture will work out brilliantly"
I don't usually read too much into fortune cookies...but I also don't believe in coincidences. They are signs from God. He's indicating that all will work out for the best. I just need to remember that this is for his glory according to his plan...not according to mine...hence, the bumps in road =) They all serve a purpose.
Again, love you all!
Thanks for your prayers
God Bless!
Jen
Wednesday, 11 April 2012
Pull the trigger...
Big night tonight!
Retrieval is set for Friday at 7:30am and I have to take precisely 2.0cc of the "trigger" shot tonight at precisely 8:30pm to release the eggs at precisely the right time on Friday so they can be 'gathered'...if you will.
It's almost the big day! My embryos are going to be created on Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So excited =)
God Bless all of you who are following our journey and keeping us in your prayers!
Love you all!
Jen
Retrieval is set for Friday at 7:30am and I have to take precisely 2.0cc of the "trigger" shot tonight at precisely 8:30pm to release the eggs at precisely the right time on Friday so they can be 'gathered'...if you will.
It's almost the big day! My embryos are going to be created on Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So excited =)
God Bless all of you who are following our journey and keeping us in your prayers!
Love you all!
Jen
Tuesday, 10 April 2012
Nothings worth having comes easy...
Well it's been a long journey to get here and I've conquered a lot of fears and I have endured a lot and felt very good and been able to enjoy my time in Victoria so far...
Unfortunately...if you look back on my journey (namely the Clomid Saga) you will notice there is a common thread. That thread is my stubborn ovaries. They are quite lazy and don't like to do as they are supposed to...and thus, we are slightly behind schedule. So...my dreams of coming home early on Friday and relaxing and settling in for a couple of days before returning to work is not going to become reality. Retrieval of the eggs will either take place Friday or Saturday so our flights are booked (doctor's orders) for Sunday morning. This means I'll have Sunday afternoon/evening to relax and settle in and then I will be thrust back into the reality of life..lol. Thank goodness I'm a tough cookie and have the faith and confidence to handle it like a champ.
So please pray pray pray! I need those prayers. Pray that things stay on track so we can leave Sunday and that I will have little pain and be able to travel in comfort. I am so homesick so it's hard to think I have to stay a bit longer, but I know that in the end it will all be worth it and that I just need to be patient and endure.
God has it all in his hands and he has brought be this far.
Nothing worth having ever comes easy...
Love you all and God Bless!
Jen
Unfortunately...if you look back on my journey (namely the Clomid Saga) you will notice there is a common thread. That thread is my stubborn ovaries. They are quite lazy and don't like to do as they are supposed to...and thus, we are slightly behind schedule. So...my dreams of coming home early on Friday and relaxing and settling in for a couple of days before returning to work is not going to become reality. Retrieval of the eggs will either take place Friday or Saturday so our flights are booked (doctor's orders) for Sunday morning. This means I'll have Sunday afternoon/evening to relax and settle in and then I will be thrust back into the reality of life..lol. Thank goodness I'm a tough cookie and have the faith and confidence to handle it like a champ.
So please pray pray pray! I need those prayers. Pray that things stay on track so we can leave Sunday and that I will have little pain and be able to travel in comfort. I am so homesick so it's hard to think I have to stay a bit longer, but I know that in the end it will all be worth it and that I just need to be patient and endure.
God has it all in his hands and he has brought be this far.
Nothing worth having ever comes easy...
Love you all and God Bless!
Jen
Friday, 6 April 2012
One week down...
Well we have been here for a week and so far I've had an ultrasound and bloodwork every second day (about that) to monitor the growth of my follicles. Follicles are the little ovarian houses that the eggs live in (lol). Well over this past week I have seen some of my follicles grow from 4 and 5 mm to 11 and 12....so the "miracle grow" Gonal F is working. I do need prayers though because not all of them are growing as quickly as we'd like to see. I have taken 225 units of Gonal F and then switched up to 300 units of Gonal F and today I also started Cetrotide and Luveris which are two other injectable medications that help with the growing process.
We have had a nice week traveling around and enjoying the Victoria area. We've been shopping, we have checked out 3 different churches and we have gone on scenic drives...enjoyed delicious food...and relaxed. It has been great. Not to mention, I have conquered the fear of giving myself needles (which I was sure was going to be the worst part, and maybe it is...but it's not too bad at all).
I feel great so far. A few twinges of pain and a headache here or there but on the whole I feel good.
Have a great Easter everyone!
Thank you so much to everyone for the emails/messages and encouraging words, prayers and support of all kinds. I love you all so much.
God Bless and Take Care,
Jen
We have had a nice week traveling around and enjoying the Victoria area. We've been shopping, we have checked out 3 different churches and we have gone on scenic drives...enjoyed delicious food...and relaxed. It has been great. Not to mention, I have conquered the fear of giving myself needles (which I was sure was going to be the worst part, and maybe it is...but it's not too bad at all).
I feel great so far. A few twinges of pain and a headache here or there but on the whole I feel good.
Have a great Easter everyone!
Thank you so much to everyone for the emails/messages and encouraging words, prayers and support of all kinds. I love you all so much.
God Bless and Take Care,
Jen
Friday, 30 March 2012
The first day!
Well, we got to Victoria safe and sound. Our flights went smoothly and I had no issues getting through security with my needles/medications and stuff. I also managed to take care of the car rental and navigate around using "Richard"...my handy-dandy GPS.
Today I finally met Dr. Hudson and Leigh and they are as amazing as I knew they'd be! So sweet, kind and accommodating. From my ultrasound everything looks GREAT (YAY! God is good!!) and I start my increased dose of Gonal-F tonight. What is Gonal-F you might ask? Well, as Leigh would call it..."the most important 'drug' of all...it's like your "miracle grow"..lol! Minor speed bump of the day....my pharmacy back home did not give me the Gonal-F so I am waiting for it to get into the Pharmasave here tomorrow afternoon. How then, will I start my meds tonight if my pharmacy back home failed to dispense it?? I can start it tonight because the clinic is so awesome that they have 'loaned' me 2 boxes of the medications that I can replace once I can use my insurance coverage to get them from the pharmacy tomorrow! How awesome is that?! Not expected. Talk about making you feel cared for. They could've just forced me to buy from them and I'd be out the who-knows-how-much $$$$ and have to suck it up! Wow! God has definitely led us to this wonderful place where the doctors and clinic staff are warm, caring and inviting. Praise his name! I just know he has brought us here and he is taking care of everything.
Now, it's not even 10:00 a.m. and we are free until Monday morning....what to do???
I'm not sure. We'll ha:ve to find something to keep us busy.
Anyways,
Thanks for your thoughts and prayers!
Love you all,
Jen
Today I finally met Dr. Hudson and Leigh and they are as amazing as I knew they'd be! So sweet, kind and accommodating. From my ultrasound everything looks GREAT (YAY! God is good!!) and I start my increased dose of Gonal-F tonight. What is Gonal-F you might ask? Well, as Leigh would call it..."the most important 'drug' of all...it's like your "miracle grow"..lol! Minor speed bump of the day....my pharmacy back home did not give me the Gonal-F so I am waiting for it to get into the Pharmasave here tomorrow afternoon. How then, will I start my meds tonight if my pharmacy back home failed to dispense it?? I can start it tonight because the clinic is so awesome that they have 'loaned' me 2 boxes of the medications that I can replace once I can use my insurance coverage to get them from the pharmacy tomorrow! How awesome is that?! Not expected. Talk about making you feel cared for. They could've just forced me to buy from them and I'd be out the who-knows-how-much $$$$ and have to suck it up! Wow! God has definitely led us to this wonderful place where the doctors and clinic staff are warm, caring and inviting. Praise his name! I just know he has brought us here and he is taking care of everything.
Now, it's not even 10:00 a.m. and we are free until Monday morning....what to do???
I'm not sure. We'll ha:ve to find something to keep us busy.
Anyways,
Thanks for your thoughts and prayers!
Love you all,
Jen
Thursday, 15 March 2012
2 more weeks!
Well in 2 weeks (8 work days if you can believe it!) mom and I are off to Victoria! Luc has a bit more of a wait...but it's coming up fast!!!!
Newest update: I have $2000 in "medical travel expenses" I can claim through my benefits that I was unaware of until just a couple of weeks ago! Praise God! He is really taking care of everything for us.
I can't believe it's coming so fast. If I'm being honest, I'm not nervous at all about the IVF treatments at all (which sounds bizarre to most people I'm sure...but that's what a faith in God will do for you!). What I am nervous about is leaving my classroom kidlets for 6 days. Sounds ridiculous I'm sure...but it's hard. I have my routine and my way of doing things and as much as I completely trust the substitute that is coming in...it's still hard to say "here are my kids...here are my resources....have a great time!" Pray that the transition will go well for the kids and the substitute and that things will go smoothly in all areas.
Anyways, that's my quick little blurb! Not very "rambly" today!
Love you all! Thanks for you continued prayers and support!
Jen
Newest update: I have $2000 in "medical travel expenses" I can claim through my benefits that I was unaware of until just a couple of weeks ago! Praise God! He is really taking care of everything for us.
I can't believe it's coming so fast. If I'm being honest, I'm not nervous at all about the IVF treatments at all (which sounds bizarre to most people I'm sure...but that's what a faith in God will do for you!). What I am nervous about is leaving my classroom kidlets for 6 days. Sounds ridiculous I'm sure...but it's hard. I have my routine and my way of doing things and as much as I completely trust the substitute that is coming in...it's still hard to say "here are my kids...here are my resources....have a great time!" Pray that the transition will go well for the kids and the substitute and that things will go smoothly in all areas.
Anyways, that's my quick little blurb! Not very "rambly" today!
Love you all! Thanks for you continued prayers and support!
Jen
Saturday, 11 February 2012
Step by step we're moving forward, little by little we're taking ground...
Well it's been a while since I've posted an update, so I thought I'd let you all know what's going on in our journey to Victoria.
Things have been happening almost weekly. I've had lab work done and I've begun the prep stages of my treatment. I've been on my Metformin treatment the doctor prescribed me for my insulin resistance and I have lost nearly 15 pounds and I'm continuing to eat healthy and try to continue to get my weight down as a part of this journey.
Also, so far, we have our flights booked and paid for, our accommodations booked and paid for, IVF deposit paid for (that's a nice chunk of it already paid), rental car booked, prescriptions faxed to and at the pharmacy (so that we can pay that before we get there and be reimbursed via benefits).
Now, I didn't write a post about this, but my number one 'worry' was being able to afford everything all at once. I have been faithfully praying that God would make a way for things to work and I tell you He is always faithful. I had this thought in the beginning (for some reason) that we would have to pay everything all at once and we wouldn't have a way to do it...but...we have been able to pay little by little and get different costs out of the way. The flights..done! The accommodations...done! Deposit on the IVF, done! My medications (which is potentially the most expensive part) are going to be paid for before we get to Victoria so we have time to be reimbursed and thus we will have more available funds to pay the remainder of our IVF costs. I just see this as such a blessing. The stress that I was having is literally melted away!!! All the glory be to God because I just know He has been leading and guiding this entire journey and continues to do so.
In other news, on the treatment front, I won't begin my full on treatment protocol until I am actually in Victoria, meaning that unlike the majority of patients who go through IVF who have to begin the treatment process (nasal spray/injections) before they get to the clinic...I will be in Victoria for the entire process. This is also somewhat comforting because I know my doctor will be close by. I know ladies go through it all the time on their own but somehow just knowing that I'll be seeing my doctor for appointments and stuff while I'm going through the process is very comforting. As I said before, the stress that I was feeling...that anxiety over things to come is quickly dissolving and it is all thanks to God. I feel His presence and His hand in everything and I take great comfort in knowing that He is watching over me at all times. This journey would be impossible without Him.
So there you have it, a bit of an update on what has been happening with us and our journey. Step one is only 46 days away. That's 46 days until mom and I hop on a plane to Victoria. A bit longer than that for Luc. It's coming so quickly!
Continue to lift us up in prayer. I can feel the presence of the Lord in all of this and it is in thanks to my wonderful prayer supporters.
Love you all,
Thanks for following our journey,
Jen
Things have been happening almost weekly. I've had lab work done and I've begun the prep stages of my treatment. I've been on my Metformin treatment the doctor prescribed me for my insulin resistance and I have lost nearly 15 pounds and I'm continuing to eat healthy and try to continue to get my weight down as a part of this journey.
Also, so far, we have our flights booked and paid for, our accommodations booked and paid for, IVF deposit paid for (that's a nice chunk of it already paid), rental car booked, prescriptions faxed to and at the pharmacy (so that we can pay that before we get there and be reimbursed via benefits).
Now, I didn't write a post about this, but my number one 'worry' was being able to afford everything all at once. I have been faithfully praying that God would make a way for things to work and I tell you He is always faithful. I had this thought in the beginning (for some reason) that we would have to pay everything all at once and we wouldn't have a way to do it...but...we have been able to pay little by little and get different costs out of the way. The flights..done! The accommodations...done! Deposit on the IVF, done! My medications (which is potentially the most expensive part) are going to be paid for before we get to Victoria so we have time to be reimbursed and thus we will have more available funds to pay the remainder of our IVF costs. I just see this as such a blessing. The stress that I was having is literally melted away!!! All the glory be to God because I just know He has been leading and guiding this entire journey and continues to do so.
In other news, on the treatment front, I won't begin my full on treatment protocol until I am actually in Victoria, meaning that unlike the majority of patients who go through IVF who have to begin the treatment process (nasal spray/injections) before they get to the clinic...I will be in Victoria for the entire process. This is also somewhat comforting because I know my doctor will be close by. I know ladies go through it all the time on their own but somehow just knowing that I'll be seeing my doctor for appointments and stuff while I'm going through the process is very comforting. As I said before, the stress that I was feeling...that anxiety over things to come is quickly dissolving and it is all thanks to God. I feel His presence and His hand in everything and I take great comfort in knowing that He is watching over me at all times. This journey would be impossible without Him.
So there you have it, a bit of an update on what has been happening with us and our journey. Step one is only 46 days away. That's 46 days until mom and I hop on a plane to Victoria. A bit longer than that for Luc. It's coming so quickly!
Continue to lift us up in prayer. I can feel the presence of the Lord in all of this and it is in thanks to my wonderful prayer supporters.
Love you all,
Thanks for following our journey,
Jen
Wednesday, 11 January 2012
Taking steps forward....EEK!
It's official!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
March 29 I will be getting on a plane and flying to Victoria and I will be there until April 13th! I talked to the clinic today and was told that whenever worked for me would work for them! Talk about service I tell ya! Usually it's the other way around! So cool. So, I have decided to take the 4 days before Spring break off plus the Thursday and Friday before in order to give myself some re-coup time before I have to go back to school on April 16th! I'm so excited!!! Flights and accommodations have been booked and the wheels are in motion. Airmiles more than cover the flights for me, mom and Luc so that is a HUGE blessing...we just have to pay for the taxes/fees which is a lot less than 3 people round-trip!! I must say though, once I got the call this afternoon after work saying to book for whatever dates I wanted the stress immediately set in (man, being the decision maker and having to finalize all the details is hard!!)...Please pray for my mind to be at ease and for this to not be an issue, I have a history of being a worry wart when it comes to these sorts of things...which is completely out of character to my normal, everyday, easy/breezy, go with the flow self! Anyways....things are starting to happen and happen rather quickly here. I have so little time before I'll be off and away for Part One of my Two-Part IVF experience.
Stay tuned!
Thanks for the prayers! They are much appreciated!
God Bless!
Love, Jen
March 29 I will be getting on a plane and flying to Victoria and I will be there until April 13th! I talked to the clinic today and was told that whenever worked for me would work for them! Talk about service I tell ya! Usually it's the other way around! So cool. So, I have decided to take the 4 days before Spring break off plus the Thursday and Friday before in order to give myself some re-coup time before I have to go back to school on April 16th! I'm so excited!!! Flights and accommodations have been booked and the wheels are in motion. Airmiles more than cover the flights for me, mom and Luc so that is a HUGE blessing...we just have to pay for the taxes/fees which is a lot less than 3 people round-trip!! I must say though, once I got the call this afternoon after work saying to book for whatever dates I wanted the stress immediately set in (man, being the decision maker and having to finalize all the details is hard!!)...Please pray for my mind to be at ease and for this to not be an issue, I have a history of being a worry wart when it comes to these sorts of things...which is completely out of character to my normal, everyday, easy/breezy, go with the flow self! Anyways....things are starting to happen and happen rather quickly here. I have so little time before I'll be off and away for Part One of my Two-Part IVF experience.
Stay tuned!
Thanks for the prayers! They are much appreciated!
God Bless!
Love, Jen
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)