I will not be shaken...

Well, I wish I had better news..but unfortunately I don't. My blood pregnancy test was negative...meaning I am no longer pregnant. It turns out you can feel pregnant and have every sign and symptom of pregnancy and not bleed or experience any sort of cause for concern and the reason is that the progesterone you have to take when you're an IVF patient, tricks your body (and thus, your mind) into thinking you're pregnant...because it literally makes you feel pregnant..and it stops (some people..me being one)  from bleeding. So...here I thought for sure I was pregnant...and I was for a time (I'll never know for sure how long it lasted) but unfortunately this is what you'd call a miscarriage..and once I go off my progesterone I suppose I will get to feel the full effects of that.  It's true that most people are unsuccessful on their first round of IVF...but I kind of thought we'd be the exception (because who doesn't hope for that)...but unfortunately we are not the exception..we're part of that majority of unsuccessful first timers. Obviously this is devastating..but we are doing ok. I have realized just how much I have to be thankful for. I have 25 embryos that I can try again with which is not the case for many people in my position. I also have amazing friends and family and students and colleagues and numerous other things that are absolutely awesome....I have an amazing life. God has richly blessed me. I will not be shaken by this! The Lord will uphold me with his righteous right hand!  I know I can move forward with this.
I thank you for your prayers and I assure you this is not the end of our journey. IVF can work and I don't give up that easily.

Continue to lift us up in your prayers as you feel lead,

Thanks.

Love and Blessings,

Jen

God answers prayers...

Now you're all waiting to hear how excited I am that in less than 2 weeks I'll be heading to Victoria to complete the final step in my IVF journey. Well....we're not going back in 2 weeks. Fact is...we told everyone we were going back in June when in reality we had it booked for May long weekend this whole time. (Sorry for the lie by the way. Father forgive me for that). We just HAD to make sure it was a surprise. So yes...on Thursday, May 17, 2012..Luc and I boarded a plane for Victoria and on Friday, May 18, 2012 our dream of conceiving a child finally came true. We had 2 of our embryos transfered.....which went extremely well, and now with some continued prayer and careful attention I am confident we will be able to say we are parents in only 9 short months! So SURPRISE!! We're pregnant. God truly does answer prayers. I know that it is only early on and it's been only a few short days so far...but so far it is going very well and in just over a week I will be able to say with confidence (after my pregnancy test) that I indeed am still pregnant. I have a faith so strong that I believe this pregnancy is from the hand of God and I do not take it for granted one bit. It is a huge blessing that we have come this far and I am able to sit here in the moment and thank the Lord above for giving me this special gift. I currently have 2 embryos growing inside of me and I feel like that is just so amazing. God is so good. Praise his name.
Thanks for your continued prayers and support. I'll continue to need them throughout the rest of our journey to parenthood and beyond.

Love to you all!!

God Bless,

Jen